As a straight, white, American male, I’m used to going pretty much wherever the hell I want, whenever I want without thinking about my identity for even a millisecond. The first time I wore my Ally Arrow shirt, as is usually the case with my fashion decisions, I didn’t think much about it. I tossed a change of clean clothes, including my Ally Arrow shirt, into my bag and headed to the gym to work out. When I was done, I took a shower and went to my locker to change into my clean clothes. That’s when it hit me: I’m walking around in a locker room full of naked, straight guys while wearing rainbow pride colors splashed across my chest. Suddenly, I went from feeling completely normal and at ease to feeling like everyone was looking at me. Did they think I was gay? If they did think I was gay, how would they react to me being so open about it in a setting where guys are walking around naked? I definitely felt like I had gone from blending into my surroundings to suddenly standing out in a big way.
This experience gave me two realizations:
- I was so oblivious to my privilege that it didn’t even cross my mind that the first time I was going to wear my Ally Arrow shirt would be in probably the single most fraught environment possible, the gym locker room. Wearing the Ally Arrow gave me a greater sense of self-awareness, which I think is something everyone could use.
- Imagine what it must feel like to go through every day of your life wondering if you will be accepted or ostracized in whatever setting you find yourself in. This t-shirt gave me a taste of that experience and reinforced why the brand was created. The more Ally Arrows are out there, hopefully the more comfortable LGBTQ+ people will feel knowing that they’re surrounded by allies. Putting on a t-shirt that you can take off anytime you want definitely does not equate to living the struggle for equality that LGBTQ+ people experience every day. However, it should make you think about what it must be like to live that struggle day in and day out.
One criticism that I have received after starting the Ally Arrow brand is that the world doesn’t need more stickers and t-shirts to help shallow people with virtue signaling. What it needs is people to contact their congressional representatives, push for change in their workplaces, etc. Those things are definitely true. However, I think this criticism discounts the bravery required for people to put even a small part of their privilege at risk, possibly for the first time in their lives, by wearing the Ally Arrow. You won't suddenly be considered a modern-day civil rights hero just because you’re wearing a t-shirt, but you’re definitely doing your small part to make the world better, and that does take a little bit of bravery. You'll feel it when you wear the shirt.
The experience of wearing the Ally Arrow in public was surprisingly impactful on a personal level. It opened my eyes to my own privilege as a straight, white, male, and it made me think about what it must be like to feel different every day. Having that experience was extremely valuable to me, and all it took was wearing a t-shirt. I hope this brand can help you and people all over the world feel the same thing.
If you’d like to share your experience wearing the Ally Arrow, we would love to hear about it. Email contact@allyarrowapparel.com and tell us your story.
Dan Lane
Founder
Ally Arrow Apparel